I Can't Stop

Checotah, Oklahoma By Shiloh the Shepherd's Sheepdog

 

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. Romans 7:14-17


I know what is right. I want to do the right thing. Why don’t I do it? I try and can be good for a little while, but something builds up inside and suddenly, I’m doing what I don’t want to be doing. I can’t stop.

I Ruin Our Walks

Take our lovely walks outside. Mommy says, “Look at me. Walk with me.” At first, I walk with her. With each step, it gets harder. Finally, when I think Mommy isn’t watching, I snap and bolt as fast and hard as I can. I’ve jerked the leash out of Mommy’s hands. Usually she hangs on, which means I jerk Mommy. I jerked the leash when she was stepping down out of the camper and now her back hurts. She tried using a short leash and wrapping it around her hand. Her hand is swollen and has a red welt around it. Once, I’ve even made her bleed. When I run, I know what is coming. If Mommy holds onto the leash, when the leash runs out, that nasty collar is going to grab my neck. It hurts – really hurts. I don’t like the pain but I do it anyway. Oh – and I’ve chewed through one leash and have started chewing through another one. Mommy says she can’t afford to keep buying leashes.

I Fight the Collar

I kept slipping out of a regular collar so Mommy bought a harness collar. Not only could I get out of that harness, I chewed through it. Mommy bought a harness that clips to the leash and collar. When each metal clips clangs into place, I feel like I’m being put in shackles. It is my own fault. Why do I keep doing these things?

I Am a Bad Houseguest

We visited our new friend, Ruth. I loved her. When we got inside her house, Mommy let me go free. I know how to act in a house so why did I keep chewing things up, eating her plants, and chasing the cat?  I even knew what was coming. Mommy finally had to use the leash inside. Neither of us liked that. When she heated up her milk at night, I jerked her and the hot milk burned her. Isn’t that terrible?  I love Mommy.

I Bark Too Much

I’m supposed to help Mommy tell people about Jesus. I want to help and yet, when they walk up, all I seem to be able to do is bark. I’m a really good barker so they can’t hear Mommy talk.

Is something wrong with me?  I do the things I don’t want to do. I hurt Mommy and me. I long to be good. I agree with Mommy about what is good which makes me feel even worse when I do the wrong thing.

I got a little hope when we went to the dog park. Mommy let me go free and when she called, I came back every time. It felt good. Also, I’ve learned to potty outside. Don’t you think those are good signs? Is there hope for me?

The amazing thing is that Mommy still loves me no matter what I do. She scolds me when I do the wrong thing but she loves me anyway. She lets me sleep with her and cuddles with me when we wake up. She kisses me and buries her face in my mane. When I mind, she gives me yummy treats. When I get dirty, she washes me. She picks burrs out of my fur and checks me for vermin. She feeds me and gives me water. Now that I think about it, I love Mommy even when she scolds me.

Maybe if Mommy keeps teaching me, I will eventually be able to do what I really want to do – to delight my mommy. If you have any suggestions for me, tell my mommy, Cheryle and she’ll tell me.